CET写作典型例文精彩点评（三）

2003年9月六级考试作文题：
图表作文，关于一个美国大学图书馆的图书流动量（pop fiction, general nonfiction, science, art等），给出他们的流动比例对比，说明原因，并说明你自己喜欢阅读什么样的书。

例1．（2分段）

此分段标准为条理不清，思路紊乱，大部分句子均有严重错误。

（为了不影响市容，给大家造成负面影响，故此处略去100字……）

例2．（5分段）

From the novel, we can see that the students like read(reading) novel, at the same time, only (a) small part of students like read(reading) science and art.

The reason to(for) this is novel is intereting(interesting), students like reading it. Most of the students read too much(many) major books when they have classes, so they want to read some(something) interesting (when) they have time. Novel can let them relax(relaxed). So they choose novel.

I like read(reading) novel, by reading it I know a lot of things, I also relax my brains. So I choose the novel.

东方教育点评：(1)基本切题。

(2)表达思想不清楚，连贯性差。

(3)有较多的严重语言错误。

（4）字数不够，要酌情扣分。

例3．（8分段）

We can know from the picture that most of students like reading popular novel instead of reading science, poetry. From this we can know different people have different addiction to(preferences for) books.

Different people have different addiction to(preferences for) books. They read different books just to meet their different needs. Because different people have different meets to read the different kinds of books. From this we can also see that different people have different intentions and notions. So they choose the different things to meet their needs in every facet in life.

I like reading poetry because I think poetry can make me calm, pleased, comfort(comforted), (and) I can see many beautiful thing(things) in the poetry.

东方教育点评：(1)基本切题。

(2)第二段表达有点乱。

（3）语言错误相当多，其中有一些是严重错误。　

例4．（11分段）

Book is the source of life. When we read a book, we should not only linger on the surface of a book, but also we should(删掉) master its intrinsic. As is charted in the blank, we can see clearly that a majority of the university students in America are addictet(addicted) to the popular fiction, and a minority of student like reading the science, poetry.

Why do they like reading popular novels? In my opinion, popular novel books are usually interesting, earthly, close to our lives. In contrast, science, poetry books are usually serious, dull and difficult. Therefore, most of the students prefer the popular novels.

I like reading the since book（science books）. For one thing, it can make me enhance my speciality knoweledy(specialized knowledge); In addition, it can help me know the frontier about my speciality and master the newest things in since(science); thirdly, it can give a good chance to know a lot and can help me to study the useful subject when I graduate from the university.

东方教育点评：（1）本文基本切题，表达思想清楚。

（2）文字连贯，语言通顺。

（3）有一些语言错误。

例5．（14分段）

It can be discerned that the American students prefer to read the popular novel rather than other kind of books, such as the nonpopular (unpopular) novel, the books of technology, poem and so on. The percentage of the popular novel current(currently) is about 68.2%. Other kind of novels' current(currently) is, reletively (relatively), about 16.8%, 8.3%, and 5.2%.

It is not hard to think out why the popular novels can attract so many students. The popular novel is interesting, and not so abstract as books that full of the mathmatic formulate(mathematic formulae). However, as university students, study is the first task for us to do. So we should pay more attention to the books about our major. Fictions may color our life, but it can not be the key part of our studying life.

Personally, I would like to spend my free time in reading books about my major, such as technology digests, computer newspaper... Because I want do to(删掉) a good job in my subjects. Fortunately, my dreams come true, meanwhile, I 've gained other things--I found（have founded） a solid basic knowledge about my major(加破折号)make me feel easy to contrive the electronic circuit which have to be done during our bachelor years. Thanks to those books!

东方教育点评：（1）切题。

（2）论证比较有力，表达思想清楚。

（3）文字通顺，连贯性较好，但有个别语言错误。

注：文中划线部分为原文的一些明显语言错误，括号里的为修改建议，为保持原文面貌，对于结构没有做过多改动。

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